Through Shut Eyes I Saw

Some beliefs
Some broken dreams
dreams? or just wishful thinking
in desperation?
of escapism
of running away from reality
of shutting eyes to effort
of wishing for things to happen
on their own

a life, its luxuries, taken for granted
served on a platter
with cherry toppings and creamy icings
cribbing still
for nothing in particular
yet over everything

but till when?
never budging
cribbing still
pampered, moods
throwing tantrums
overtly rude
under the guise of sarcasm
hiding beneath all this
masking imperfections
incomplete endings

but till when?
but till when?
when one day
I shut my eyes
in frightened rebellion
as life slapped me hard
the sound reverberated
deep within
the pain of thrust
pierced within

I shut my eyes
and that's when I saw
or rather, was made to face
myself
all that had to be cleaned up
the pile of misery
of a self centered miser
miser in effort
miser in wholeheartedness
miser in character
miser in intention

and still the world has been
generous
way too generous
with this realization
I vow to give back
what I have taken
that hasn't been rightfully mine
Now I yearn to give back
all that I never earned but took

It's not snakes and ladders
life
not shields and daggers
it is a realization
life
a realization
that takes its own time to come
a realization
that's better late than never.